Last month, July, I created and placed the 8th blossom on my Tree of Hope in honor of Dasah's 8th month in heaven with Jesus. My Tree of Hope is looking fuller and healthier, and that is where my heart is today. So much of what I am learning and living in brings together two very opposite experiences. There is the processing of this very painful loss of our second granddaughter and the random tears and emotions coming with those feelings. Not only the missing of time with both our little granddaughters Sophie and Dasah, but the ache in my heart I feel for my daughter Lindsey and her husband Kevin as they wake up each day and walk in faith through the pain they both feel.
There is also the experience of God's very personal restoration, healing and hope that I know brings Him great glory in this family story. The Scripture in 1 Peter 5:10 speaks to this truth so powerfully.
It says, "In His kindness God called you to His eternal glory by means of Jesus Christ. After you have suffered a little while He will restore, support and strengthen you, and He will place you on a firm foundation." In the devotional I am reading daily,The One Year Book of Hope, Nancy Guthrie writes,"We must learn to see our suffering as glory." In what ways have I seen God's glory come of this suffering? How has God been restoring me? What are the ways I have found support and strength?
One of my first revelations came as I struggled to understand why my little granddaughters had been taken away from me. I longed for them, and I had really expected the Lord to give me a granddaughter some day. Then in the still voice and a whisper of love, God spoke to my heart and said, "Tracey, I have given you 2 granddaughters, just not for as long as you expected." I still struggled, for I had only held them in my arms a few brief minutes, of their 10 and 12 hours of life.
But the Lord continues to set my heart toward heaven and this thing called eternal glory, for though it seems so long until I will see them again, I know when I do, it will be forever.
Another great lesson that I believe brings God glory is how He has been my comfort and strength. Matthew 5:3 says that, "God blesses those who mourn, and comforts them." My mantra has been, "In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus!" It is a verse of an old hymn and I have entered into His very presence each morning, spending time in the truths of God's Word where He leads me to the riches of the glory of Christ Himself. Then the seeds of His word take root and give me a reason to worship, praise and trust Him. To worship even in suffering is to invite the Lord to heal my pain, and He does! So almost daily this summer, I get up from this time in God's Word, put on my walking shoes, and head over to Miller Park to walk and worship as I listen to praise music. And now Psalm 100 comes to life.
It says, "Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth, worship the Lord with gladness, acknowledge that the Lord is God, for the Lord is good and His unfailing love continues forever and his faithfulness to each generation." I have experienced His blessing as I have mourned, just as He said He would do.
The blossoming of surrendering each day to this journey God has called my heart to, and the healing and restoring He has done, has manifested itself in surprising ways. One of the sweetest is to be at that place where laughter and tears can mingle together. And I am beginning to see beauty rising out of the ashes just as the Lord said it would. My mentor in the faith, through her writings and radio broadcasts, Elizabeth Elliot, died several weeks ago. She said, "One thing I am perfectly sure. God's story never ends in ashes!" That is the wonderful promise of life in Christ. He conquered death, and brings new life, new hope and the unfolding of a redeemed story. I have Sophie and Dasah's handprints stamped in my Bible over the verse in Isaiah 25:8. It says "He will swallow death for all time and the Lord will wipe tears away from all faces."
I see beauty rising in Lindsey and Kevin's lives as they step into opportunities to comfort others who have gone through great loss, and as they take every opportunity to share their story. Recently, Mike and I were able to hear them share at their Cru staff conference. With tears, smiles and great honesty, they both declared the wonder of their daughter's brief lives and the hope in Christ that they press into for strength and courage to walk into another day. You can access more of how Lindsey walks each day in honest faith, by going to her blog: www.vaporandmist.wordpress.com
Kathy Dennis (Kevin's Mom) Lindsey, Kevin, Mike and I at
Cru National Staff Training on morning Kevin and Lindsey shared to
to the staff of 5,000 - Ft. Collins, Colorado July 20
Lindsey shares their story
In a few days, August 13th, I'll place the 9th blossom on my Tree of Hope. I do believe the best is yet to come for Lindsey and Kevin and for our family. In fact on July 1st my reading was on how God's agenda is always to bless us. From Genesis 12 when He promised to bless Abraham, the rest of Scripture is the story of God keeping His promise. He is for me, He is for my family and for Lindsey and Kevin. He is the blessing. Just as He blessed us with His presence through the pregnancy and births of Sophie and Dasah in ways that we call astounding, so He will continue to bless us with grace and strength. I wrote in the margin that day,"I do believe our family is poised to experience the blessing of God in an astounding way!"
On September first, we will celebrate Sophie's 2nd birthday in heaven. Still hard days and tears come. I look forward to more of God's grace and glory unfolding just as the song at the end of this blog declares. I hope you will take time to listen to Stephen Curtis Chapman sing: The Glorious Unfolding. I believe every word of it!
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| My Tree of Hope |
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