Run with Endurance

   I am not a runner.  In fact I hate to run!  It is hard, and it hurts!  Give me a good Jazzercise class any day:) But I have become an avid walker and if we are in the mountains I love to hike.  I've watched my kids run track and run marathons.  I see the effort they have put into preparation for these events.  I have seen the pain on their faces as they persevered through hard parts of the race and I have seen the  thrill of victory on their faces when they cross the finish line.
   These running stories have been on my mind lately as I have been dwelling on what it means to, "Consider it pure joy when you face trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect (mature) and complete, lacking in nothing." (James 1:2-3)  I am asking questions like, "What is this kind of endurance, that it has a perfect result and that I am lacking in nothing?"  I need that kind of endurance. How do I get it?
   The greek word for "endurance" is hupomone.  It is an abiding under.  It is keeping on in spite of the pressure from without.  It's what Jesus did each day, knowing what lay before Him.
   There is also the passage in Hebrews 12:1 where it says that, "Since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every encumbrance, and the sin which so easily entangles us and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despised the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of God.  For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you may not grow weary and lose heart."
  So I am doing what the writers of these 2 books suggest...CONSIDER. In the greek, this means to lead before the mind. It's a thought that takes priority.  It's a lot to process because joy and trials don't seem like they should go together.  I know Lindsey and I have been wrestling with what it means to have joy right now.  I noticed that in the Hebrews passage it says "since we," "let us," and "we." It seems we don't run the race set before us alone. Everyone who is a Jesus follower has a race before them.  So we are in it together.

And it also seems that we have a crowd following us during this race. Lindsey's blog www.vaporandmist.wordpress.com  has an amazing following.  It's always good to have a crowd cheering you on. But there is a watching world that longs to see what being a Christ follower looks like when tragedy strikes. I am praying they see honesty and a faith that endures! And this passage could also mean there is a heavenly crowd watching and very much wanting us to finish the race with that perfect result.  But I am also to run my own race. A coach encourages his runners to..."just run your own race, don't look back, stay focused, stay in your lane."  Jesus is the perfect example of someone who ran His own race. He saw the finish line, and it was the cross.  Nothing could deter Him from finishing. The crowds, the religious leaders,  the disciples, his own mother, all wanted to keep Him from His ultimate goal: dying on the cross, bearing my sin, conquering sin and death once and for all and then being reunited for eternity with the Father.  So that means God gives us each a different race.  Mine is different from any of my friends.  They know my story, and I know theirs.  I wouldn't want their race, nor would they want mine. But we are hopefully cheering each other on.

   This kind of endurance that Jesus exemplifies had joy as the outcome.  He had His eye on that joy.  And though our story, Lindsey and Kevin's pregnancy with Dasah Brielle ( yes she has a name!)  may lead to ushering a little girl into heaven, there is joy at the finish line.  That joy is knowing I will see Sophie one day in wholeness and life and if healing physically doesn't come for Dasah, then one day I have the hope of even better days, months and 10,000 years and more with these 2 granddaughters.

 When I focus on God's finish line, I "lack nothing" like the passage in James says.  That is the perfect result in my heart - an eternal perspective.  But the way there is hard, it is a long race, and I do grow weary.  I grow weary and sadness sometimes just takes over my heart.   But then I know I must once again "fix my eyes on Jesus."  Like fresh water renews a runner in a marathon, whether it is splashed on her or whether she takes a drink. It is essential. It replenishes and rejuvenates.  This is what the Word of God does in my life each day, and throughout the day.

The Psalms are a great comfort right now.  Even this week, studying Psalm 16 verse 8 became my prayer, " I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken."  And then verse 11 hit me, the key to joy, "In Thy presence is fullness of joy!"
   Jesus could say that He endured the cross for the joy set before Him because He knew He would be reunited with His Father, and would be in His presence once more.  So endurance is beginning to have its "perfect result" in my life.  I "lack nothing" when I have Christ and daily drink the living water of His Word.   I am desperate for that living Word.  I have become captivated by the Lord's presence each morning as I seek Him for grace and strength.  That is what difficult times do...they drive you to the only source of hope there is and His name is Jesus.

I wrote this in my quiet time this week:

                             Run with endurance
                             the rest of this race.
                             There's always enough
                             of His infinite grace.
                             Know that this testing
                             will have the result
                             of holy perfection
                             then I will exult
                             in this great tribulation,
                             this call to abide
                             under the arms
                             of the One who's my guide.
                             For the joy set before Him
                             can also be mine
                            as my eyes fix on Jesus
                            at my finish line.


 http://www.runnersworld.com/general-interest/91-year-old-finishes-san-diego-marathon I found this story of a woman who starting running at age 76 and just finished this marathon last month!  I still don't think I will become a runner, but I like the idea of being 91 and finishing my race with that same joyful spirit she has on her face!

 91 Year old finishes San Diego marathon 6/14/14

 

 

 

 

One last beautiful thing!  This song, "Captivate Us" by Watermark captures the thoughts of my heart! 

The Bending

I recently began a new study of the Psalms called A 30 Day Walk with God in the Psalms, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  The first Psalm I studied was Psalm 1.  The psalmist talks about how blessed (that word actually means happy!) a person is who, "delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night."  That person will be, "like a tree, firmly planted by streams of water which yields fruit in its season, and its leaf does not whither and in whatever he does, he is successful." (verse 2 and 3) I was thinking that I so want to be like that firmly planted tree, but right now I feel like the above picture...so stretched and bending that if it were not for friends who pray and hold me down with those prayers, and the Word of God that is my daily bread,  I would surely come uprooted! 

In these weeks since learning of my daughter Lindsey's pregnancy and the diagnosis of our precious granddaughter's condition, acrania, my mother heart travels everywhere. There is extreme sadness,
which encompasses the loss for Lindsey and Kevin and both of our families. There is the tension of feeling helpless, because a mother wants to fix every hurt and pain and I can't fix it. There is the ache I feel for my daughter as I imagine every day she wakes up with this journey before her. And it is the knowing of what lies ahead because we have been there before.  It is also the anticipation of welcoming my other daughter Laurie's baby in less than a month. My heart joys in welcoming a new grandson coming into the world, but there is always the thought, apart from God's miraculous intervention, which we pray for, of saying goodbye to another granddaughter.  I feel this "bending."

Psalm 84:7 has reminded me that He will lead me from "strength to strength."  That strength I gained yesterday when I came downstairs, sat in my chair with my coffee, and opened up my Bible, carried me to the strength I gained today, when I woke up, came downstairs, got my coffee, and opened up my Bible. I opened it up and began meditating and soon delighting and then found my heart being renewed!  I gave the Lord my fears, my tears, and my worries.

I began to praise and thank the Lord for being my refuge, my children's refuge, and our families strength and hope.  I feel myself becoming firmly planted for the day.  Now my eyes are in the right place, and they are gazing at Jesus and all that I know to be true about Him. 

I know I will feel "the bending" at different times during my day.  But my roots grew a little deeper because of my time with my Savior this morning and every morning.  He has my attention.  I am desperate for Him because there is no other place to find peace, to find rest and hope.  I listen to music throughout the day that helps me praise and worship the Lord, keeping my eyes on Him.

The Psalmist also says there will be "fruit in its season."(verse 3)   I don't know what that looks like.  I pray I will be changed in a way that pleases the Lord.  I pray God's greatness will be displayed in our story.   But at the end of this I am kind of thinking it will be as beautiful as this picture!

 

 

 "Though You Slay Me" Shane and Shane with John Piper

 

( The thoughts by John Piper toward the end of this music video are profound!)

 

The Supporting C.A.S.T!

    What does it look like to step into someone's personal pain and heartbreak, not only once, but then again?  Kevin and Lindsey have an amazing community made up of co-workers, friends, and church community. In fact, they call themselves The Supporting C.A.S.T. (Come Along Side Them)
    This special group recently pulled off a very special Gender Reveal Party for Kevin and Lindsey.  Up until that day, no one knew the gender of our sweet little baby Dennis.  So we all waited with excitement and our own predictions.  Little did Kevin and Lindsey know, that it wasn't just a Gender Reveal Party, but a Gender Reveal Carnival! The setting took place in a park, complete with a stilt walker, pink and blue lemonade, a pink and blue cake, pink and blue candies and pink and blue paint, ready to spray bomb a group of friends in white tee shirts!  Cell phones were lined up on music stands to Face Time the event...Dennis and Parrott families tuned in anticipating the big reveal.
With backs to Lindsey and Kevin, they began spray painting their friends....:PINK!  And so we are so tickled pink to announce that Sophie is having a little sister!
    I wanted to introduce you to Kevin and Lindsey's Supporting C.A.S.T.
   You can also go to Lindsey's blog www.vaporandmist.wordpress.com  for the video and more pics!

                         Pink was dominant for awhile, but then the blue paint went flying too!

                                            Lindsey and Kevin loaded up the pink paint!

                                           Sweet smiles to celebrate their little girl!

   Little did Lindsey know that her family was cooking up our our own little gender reveals!  Below is Dan in Central Park, NYC having his own private Gender Reveal Party!
     

  Laurie and Nick and our grandson's, Isaac and Jordan, were in town for Nick's brother's wedding, so we had our own little Pink Paint Party as we loaded up our squirt guns with a little pink! This was the "before pink!"

 

 

                                                      After "pink paint squirt gun wars!"

   Though we don't know the whole story, we know that our little granddaughter will be dearly loved every day.  It is so special to have a community come alongside to lighten the days with their support and smiles.  We see the hands and feet and love of Jesus through every person who gives us or Kevin and Lindsey,  a hug, a note,  a text, or a prayer. It is a great comfort to Mike and I as we are miles away from Lindsey and Kevin, knowing their community is coming alongside them in such tender ways.  You are part of the Supporting C.A.S.T.  with them, and the Parrott, Schultz and Dennis families thank you so with all our hearts!

                         In honor of our precious baby granddaughter #2, my blog is PINK!


Video #2

Our family Pink Party video fun Video #3
Video #1

Is the Shepherd Good?

When my Dad was in Israel several years ago, he took this picture of a shepherd and his lamb.  I have always loved this photo and Dad just gave it to Mike and I.  But a few weeks ago,  I questioned whether my Shepherd was really good as we received the news that Lindsey and Kevin's new baby had this condition so similar to Sophie.  How could a good God allow the unthinkable to happen again?
I actually considered this scenario long before Kevin and Lindsey shared they were pregnant. 
As we journeyed through Sophie's story so much of what I learned centered around laying all my expectations before the Lord. But as a mother, I just worried...about the future.  I shared my heart with the Lord, struggling between confident trust in the future and wondering...would you call us to walk this road again and if you did, how could we bear it?  And I prayed that He would give Lindsey and Kevin a healthy baby and so did Mike. I prayed for this so many times.  I read through 90 Days of God's Goodness, by Randy Alcorn...and was re reading parts of it.  This devotional daily resonated with truth that drew my heart back to the character of God, His goodness.
One day, I decided it was time to put 90 Days away.  My heart was at rest.  God was teaching me through His Word in other ways.  So I put it on a bookshelf in the basement.   Three days later, Lindsey called with the results of their 3D ultrasound.  And as we talked on the phone and as I prayed with her, I cried out to the Lord,  I do not understand, but I know that you are good.
How can I say that God is still good?  I keep going back to Psalm 23. 
    The Lord is my Shepherd.  Yes, He drew me to Himself about 40 years ago.  I surrendered my life to Him, and asked Him to lead me, as a sophomore in college..to guide me though the rest of my life.
     I shall not want.  I think of how we do not lack anything we need to face this hard path together with Lindsey and Kevin.  He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  And He will provide all our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures.  I have found that in my desperation for His grace and strength, He daily meets me as I sit, am still, and open up His Word.  His Word restores, nourishes, and replaces despair with rest and peace, which are the quiet and still waters of His presence.  Here, He restores my soul, and guides me in paths of righteousness. I believe this is a place where His goodness is real to me, because I am walking in the truth. And even though He may be leading us to the hard part of the valley where shadows lie, I am praying that as we trust the Good Shepherd, He will lead our family through our fears and with courage, and triumph. 
    He prepares a table before us. Daily we will see Him provide what we need each day.  He will lay out the daily bread, I just need to receive and take His provision. We take each day at a time. Sometimes each hour!
    And so His goodness and lovingkindness will also follow us as we follow our Good Shepherd.

So, yes, I believe the Good Shepherd is good.  In Tim Keller's book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, he says that, "According to all branches of Christian theology, the ultimate purpose of life is to glorify God." In many passages of Scripture, suffering and glory are linked together.
Paul says our sufferings prepare us for an eternal glory (Rom 8:17-18) Paul also says his sufferings are for his readers' glory (Eph 3:13), and in I Peter 1:6-7, Peter explains that the believers are suffering grief and trials so that the genuineness of their faith is proven and shown to be worth more than gold, which is refined by fire,  and will result in praise ,glory and honor when Jesus is revealed.

Some might say that they can't believe in a God who would allow such suffering as we see going on in this world.  And we know we are not the only family going through difficult times.  But I love what Keller says about the glory of God. He says that, "the glory of God means what can be called his infinite beyondness. He is not a "tame" God. This is a God beyond our comprehension, and is one of the aspects of the biblical God that modern people dislike the most."  But as we get to know who He really is, we know we can trust this God, who reveals Himself through Jesus.

I was reading in John 10 this week and Jesus says, "I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep." And in verse 27-29 Jesus says"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them; and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of My hand."  Jesus endured the ultimate suffering by laying down His life, for me, for the world. 

The picture above shows a good shepherd holding his lamb. He is holding me. He is holding Lindsey and Kevin. He knows the terrain, and He can lead us through the most difficult places. 

This picture is now hanging in my living room, a daily reminder of His goodness and how he holds us.  And I got 90 Days of God's Goodness back off the shelf. 






This song, "Be Still and Know that I Am God"  is one of my favorites.  Just click the link.
   
http://youtu.be/U5riGWJ8U10

The Most Important Skill

So many friends and family know our story.  Many followed our daughter, Lindsey and son in love, Kevin Dennis,  through a journey we never imagined we would travel.  It was and continues to be the story of our sweet granddaughter Sophia Kyla Dennis, born September 1, 2013 and the 10 precious hours given to us before she went to be with Jesus that same day.  We remember and celebrate her amazing and short life, touching thousands as Lindsey shared the story of their pregnancy, our Sophie diagnosed with the condition known as anencephaly.  Lindsey's blog Vapor and Mist,  www.vaporandmist.wordpress.com, chronicled these weeks and the wonderful community that came alongside with such love, prayer and support. 

Our whole family experienced the grace and love of God as He carried us through these difficult months. I think all of us would say we are forever changed in some way.

Our family picture taken at Christmas 2013 reflects the love and sweetness in our hearts, though it was hard not having Sophie with us.  The little butterfly in the corner of that picture is a reminder she will always be remembered in our family. So it was with such hope we entered into 2014. 

I copied down some thoughts from Ann Voskamp's blog A Holy Experience, on January 11.

"In a new year, the only hope of a new me, is only Christ in me. The most important skill to have in 2014 is to live aware that Jesus is the only life I have.  Nothing will happen this year apart from Him.  Nothing will be remade, nothing will be satisfying apart from Him. Jesus is the only life I have.  The most important skill to have in 2014 is paying attention to Jesus. 

Just be with Jesus.
Listen to Jesus.
Wait for Jesus.
Be loved by Jesus.
Wonder over Jesus.
Live through Jesus.

When who Jesus is overwhelms you - nothing that happens can overcome you....

Try picking through the minefield of life without clinging to Him - who knows what 2014 could explode." ( taken from blog www.aholyexperience.com Jan. 11, 2014)

And so, on March 15 we received the wonderful news that Kevin and Lindsey were pregnant again and our excitement and hope revived.  We were  touched with anxious anticipation and praying that this new life was growing healthy and strong.  And then our lives exploded on May 8th with the news that this little baby had a life threatening condition called acrania, similar, but not the same, as our Sophie.  And all of us were stunned.  How could this happen again?  Why Lord?  How will we navigate this journey a second time?  And He said to me...I am still with you.

I still sometimes feel I cannot breathe.  And when my thoughts take this mother to places of anger, fear, worry, and many questions, there is a place I know I can go..it is the place where I went before, because I believe the Lord truly has trained me in "the most important skill."  I go just to  be with Jesus in His powerful, comforting, soul strengthening, living and true Word.  I listen to Him speak to me. My friend Lin, opened up Psalm 23 with me, when I came to her house after hearing of our babies diagnosis while at work.  The Lord is my Shepherd and He will lead and guide my Lindsey and Kevin and our family. 

I still have moments where I feel I can't  breathe. I was reminded of a wonderful praise hymn, Breathe, by Michael W. Smith.  I will by faith breathe in God's powerful truths and I will intentionally drive my heart toward the Lord in those times of fear and doubt.  He is the air I breathe.
We will continue to honor this new life God has created for as long as the Lord gives and we will continue to trust in the same God who carried us before.  We will pray for the Lord's healing hand to touch our baby Dennis and we will trust in His all wise plans as they unfold.  I have much to learn and so much of my heart to share this time. 


"Breathe" by Michael W. Smith