Lost and Found - Celebrating the gift of Sophie

Today we are celebrating our little granddaughter Sophia Kyla Dennis' 2nd birthday in heaven.  It seems like yesterday we were in Orlando as a family waiting for Sophie to come.  We waited and waited, and found ourselves together as a family for 3 weeks!  We went to everything free we could find around Disney World as we waited each day. We went to the Disney Resorts and used the swimming pools.  We went Downtown Disney and rode the ferry boats across the lake numerous times with Isaac and Jordan. We went to Celebration and rode around on bicycles built for 6.
                                              

Bike riding in Celebration

 

Walks around the lake

 

Resort Hopping

 

 

Downtown Disney

 

 And we went for evening walks around a lake as a family.  We talked, hugged, and loved each other well in those days of filling time together.  Then it came time to wait for Lindsey to labor long and hard with Sophie.  All day and all night and finally, the early morning of September 1, she arrived.  We huddled behind the glass window packing out the little viewing room, and standing on chairs, anxious to get our first view of Sophie.

In Lindsey's arms at last

Family first views

                                                       
                                                                   

Aunt Laurie and Uncles Dan and Luke

Proud Papa and Nini

 

The proud Daddy - Kevin

 

                                                        

  She came out and cried and was very much alive and pink and all chalky from her birth by C section.  But she breathed and she moved and we were all smiles.  In the 10 hours that followed we held her, we watched her as Lindsey and Kevin held her, and we finally went home to bed at about 3:30 or 4 in the morning.  And when we came back to the hospital around 10 the next morning, we learned that Sophie had gone to be with Jesus. 


In the days and weeks that followed, our grief took all of our family to different places of personal growth.  But our sweet Sophie has taught each of us far more in her 42 weeks and 10 hours of life, than we would ever imagine a little life could.

I love the quote from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep, the photography ministry that captured so many of the priceless photos we have of Sophie's time with us.  It says,

  "There is no footprint too small that it cannot make and imprint on the world."

 

Sophie has made a huge imprint on my world, and she continues to make an imprint on the world as Lindsey and Kevin have had so many opportunities to share their story of Sophie and choosing to celebrate her life, even though they knew it could be very brief.  For Sophie was diagnosed at 20 weeks with a condition known as anencephaly.  Her brain and skull would not fully develop and she would only live a short time after her birth.

 

In the last 2 years since losing Sophie, I have discovered that I have found more than I could imagine.

 



 

 I've FOUND that God is faithful and I can trust Him for the story He has given our family. I still have questions, and struggle but I know that God is good...always.  

 

 I've FOUND that praising and worshipping the Lord through His Word releases me from doubt, fear, anxiety and enables me to move forward each day. 

 

I've FOUND that Jesus really is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in Spirit and that He meets me every morning right where I am and renews my heart, giving strength for the day. I don't find that strength in any effort on my own, but in the living Word of God. 

 

I've FOUND that God's grace is bigger than I imagined and poured out more extravagantly than I could ever experience when in the midst of suffering.  He shows up in astounding ways and baffles the watching world.  I've FOUND that He is on display when I walk through the valley hand in hand with Him.  I've FOUND He is most glorified in my weakness.

 

I've FOUND that in loss you can find gain and that my ties here on earth are not as tethered as I look at the treasure now in heaven to be enjoyed forever. This world is not my true home. 

 

I've FOUND the deepest, sweetest, most intimate walk with Jesus. 

 

I've FOUND a new sweet relationship with Sophie's other Grandma, Kathy Dennis.  A kindred spirit and love for our granddaughters has bonded our hearts.

 

I've FOUND new acceptance in how others grieve and how to grieve, as Mike and I have gone through the GriefShare program. I've found myself in a healthy place as I continue to move through this loss.  Now we hope to lead a group starting September 15 so we come along side others going through loss.

 

I've FOUND that in suffering, the best thing to do is to find a way to serve. Serving releases a focus on self and can be as simple as making a meal for someone.

 

I've FOUND that grief and tears, joy and laughter can co-exist. 

 

I've FOUND that my husband and children rise up and live out the best of who they are when called into trials and we gained courage and strength from each other.

 

I've FOUND a new meaning to hope....and it has everything to do with who God is, not what

He may or may not do.  My hope is in a person, not a thing, or a dream or a desire.  I've seen Lindsey and Kevin lay down every hope and dream they had and place their hope in the God of hope. And so do I.  We said many months ago, "The best is yet to come." 

 

So today I am celebrating Sophie with our family and with Lindsey and Kevin.  We miss her and wish we could be giving her presents and watching her grow and change before us.  But one day, we will be with her and her sister Dasah, and then the real celebration will begin!

 

Happy 2nd birthday in heaven sweet Sophie!

 

We fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:18