The Bending

I recently began a new study of the Psalms called A 30 Day Walk with God in the Psalms, by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  The first Psalm I studied was Psalm 1.  The psalmist talks about how blessed (that word actually means happy!) a person is who, "delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on it day and night."  That person will be, "like a tree, firmly planted by streams of water which yields fruit in its season, and its leaf does not whither and in whatever he does, he is successful." (verse 2 and 3) I was thinking that I so want to be like that firmly planted tree, but right now I feel like the above picture...so stretched and bending that if it were not for friends who pray and hold me down with those prayers, and the Word of God that is my daily bread,  I would surely come uprooted! 

In these weeks since learning of my daughter Lindsey's pregnancy and the diagnosis of our precious granddaughter's condition, acrania, my mother heart travels everywhere. There is extreme sadness,
which encompasses the loss for Lindsey and Kevin and both of our families. There is the tension of feeling helpless, because a mother wants to fix every hurt and pain and I can't fix it. There is the ache I feel for my daughter as I imagine every day she wakes up with this journey before her. And it is the knowing of what lies ahead because we have been there before.  It is also the anticipation of welcoming my other daughter Laurie's baby in less than a month. My heart joys in welcoming a new grandson coming into the world, but there is always the thought, apart from God's miraculous intervention, which we pray for, of saying goodbye to another granddaughter.  I feel this "bending."

Psalm 84:7 has reminded me that He will lead me from "strength to strength."  That strength I gained yesterday when I came downstairs, sat in my chair with my coffee, and opened up my Bible, carried me to the strength I gained today, when I woke up, came downstairs, got my coffee, and opened up my Bible. I opened it up and began meditating and soon delighting and then found my heart being renewed!  I gave the Lord my fears, my tears, and my worries.

I began to praise and thank the Lord for being my refuge, my children's refuge, and our families strength and hope.  I feel myself becoming firmly planted for the day.  Now my eyes are in the right place, and they are gazing at Jesus and all that I know to be true about Him. 

I know I will feel "the bending" at different times during my day.  But my roots grew a little deeper because of my time with my Savior this morning and every morning.  He has my attention.  I am desperate for Him because there is no other place to find peace, to find rest and hope.  I listen to music throughout the day that helps me praise and worship the Lord, keeping my eyes on Him.

The Psalmist also says there will be "fruit in its season."(verse 3)   I don't know what that looks like.  I pray I will be changed in a way that pleases the Lord.  I pray God's greatness will be displayed in our story.   But at the end of this I am kind of thinking it will be as beautiful as this picture!

 

 

 "Though You Slay Me" Shane and Shane with John Piper

 

( The thoughts by John Piper toward the end of this music video are profound!)

 

The Supporting C.A.S.T!

    What does it look like to step into someone's personal pain and heartbreak, not only once, but then again?  Kevin and Lindsey have an amazing community made up of co-workers, friends, and church community. In fact, they call themselves The Supporting C.A.S.T. (Come Along Side Them)
    This special group recently pulled off a very special Gender Reveal Party for Kevin and Lindsey.  Up until that day, no one knew the gender of our sweet little baby Dennis.  So we all waited with excitement and our own predictions.  Little did Kevin and Lindsey know, that it wasn't just a Gender Reveal Party, but a Gender Reveal Carnival! The setting took place in a park, complete with a stilt walker, pink and blue lemonade, a pink and blue cake, pink and blue candies and pink and blue paint, ready to spray bomb a group of friends in white tee shirts!  Cell phones were lined up on music stands to Face Time the event...Dennis and Parrott families tuned in anticipating the big reveal.
With backs to Lindsey and Kevin, they began spray painting their friends....:PINK!  And so we are so tickled pink to announce that Sophie is having a little sister!
    I wanted to introduce you to Kevin and Lindsey's Supporting C.A.S.T.
   You can also go to Lindsey's blog www.vaporandmist.wordpress.com  for the video and more pics!

                         Pink was dominant for awhile, but then the blue paint went flying too!

                                            Lindsey and Kevin loaded up the pink paint!

                                           Sweet smiles to celebrate their little girl!

   Little did Lindsey know that her family was cooking up our our own little gender reveals!  Below is Dan in Central Park, NYC having his own private Gender Reveal Party!
     

  Laurie and Nick and our grandson's, Isaac and Jordan, were in town for Nick's brother's wedding, so we had our own little Pink Paint Party as we loaded up our squirt guns with a little pink! This was the "before pink!"

 

 

                                                      After "pink paint squirt gun wars!"

   Though we don't know the whole story, we know that our little granddaughter will be dearly loved every day.  It is so special to have a community come alongside to lighten the days with their support and smiles.  We see the hands and feet and love of Jesus through every person who gives us or Kevin and Lindsey,  a hug, a note,  a text, or a prayer. It is a great comfort to Mike and I as we are miles away from Lindsey and Kevin, knowing their community is coming alongside them in such tender ways.  You are part of the Supporting C.A.S.T.  with them, and the Parrott, Schultz and Dennis families thank you so with all our hearts!

                         In honor of our precious baby granddaughter #2, my blog is PINK!


Video #2

Our family Pink Party video fun Video #3
Video #1

Is the Shepherd Good?

When my Dad was in Israel several years ago, he took this picture of a shepherd and his lamb.  I have always loved this photo and Dad just gave it to Mike and I.  But a few weeks ago,  I questioned whether my Shepherd was really good as we received the news that Lindsey and Kevin's new baby had this condition so similar to Sophie.  How could a good God allow the unthinkable to happen again?
I actually considered this scenario long before Kevin and Lindsey shared they were pregnant. 
As we journeyed through Sophie's story so much of what I learned centered around laying all my expectations before the Lord. But as a mother, I just worried...about the future.  I shared my heart with the Lord, struggling between confident trust in the future and wondering...would you call us to walk this road again and if you did, how could we bear it?  And I prayed that He would give Lindsey and Kevin a healthy baby and so did Mike. I prayed for this so many times.  I read through 90 Days of God's Goodness, by Randy Alcorn...and was re reading parts of it.  This devotional daily resonated with truth that drew my heart back to the character of God, His goodness.
One day, I decided it was time to put 90 Days away.  My heart was at rest.  God was teaching me through His Word in other ways.  So I put it on a bookshelf in the basement.   Three days later, Lindsey called with the results of their 3D ultrasound.  And as we talked on the phone and as I prayed with her, I cried out to the Lord,  I do not understand, but I know that you are good.
How can I say that God is still good?  I keep going back to Psalm 23. 
    The Lord is my Shepherd.  Yes, He drew me to Himself about 40 years ago.  I surrendered my life to Him, and asked Him to lead me, as a sophomore in college..to guide me though the rest of my life.
     I shall not want.  I think of how we do not lack anything we need to face this hard path together with Lindsey and Kevin.  He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  And He will provide all our needs according to His riches in Christ Jesus.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures.  I have found that in my desperation for His grace and strength, He daily meets me as I sit, am still, and open up His Word.  His Word restores, nourishes, and replaces despair with rest and peace, which are the quiet and still waters of His presence.  Here, He restores my soul, and guides me in paths of righteousness. I believe this is a place where His goodness is real to me, because I am walking in the truth. And even though He may be leading us to the hard part of the valley where shadows lie, I am praying that as we trust the Good Shepherd, He will lead our family through our fears and with courage, and triumph. 
    He prepares a table before us. Daily we will see Him provide what we need each day.  He will lay out the daily bread, I just need to receive and take His provision. We take each day at a time. Sometimes each hour!
    And so His goodness and lovingkindness will also follow us as we follow our Good Shepherd.

So, yes, I believe the Good Shepherd is good.  In Tim Keller's book, Walking with God Through Pain and Suffering, he says that, "According to all branches of Christian theology, the ultimate purpose of life is to glorify God." In many passages of Scripture, suffering and glory are linked together.
Paul says our sufferings prepare us for an eternal glory (Rom 8:17-18) Paul also says his sufferings are for his readers' glory (Eph 3:13), and in I Peter 1:6-7, Peter explains that the believers are suffering grief and trials so that the genuineness of their faith is proven and shown to be worth more than gold, which is refined by fire,  and will result in praise ,glory and honor when Jesus is revealed.

Some might say that they can't believe in a God who would allow such suffering as we see going on in this world.  And we know we are not the only family going through difficult times.  But I love what Keller says about the glory of God. He says that, "the glory of God means what can be called his infinite beyondness. He is not a "tame" God. This is a God beyond our comprehension, and is one of the aspects of the biblical God that modern people dislike the most."  But as we get to know who He really is, we know we can trust this God, who reveals Himself through Jesus.

I was reading in John 10 this week and Jesus says, "I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep." And in verse 27-29 Jesus says"My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them; and they shall never perish, and no one shall snatch them out of My hand."  Jesus endured the ultimate suffering by laying down His life, for me, for the world. 

The picture above shows a good shepherd holding his lamb. He is holding me. He is holding Lindsey and Kevin. He knows the terrain, and He can lead us through the most difficult places. 

This picture is now hanging in my living room, a daily reminder of His goodness and how he holds us.  And I got 90 Days of God's Goodness back off the shelf. 






This song, "Be Still and Know that I Am God"  is one of my favorites.  Just click the link.
   
http://youtu.be/U5riGWJ8U10