So many friends and family know our story. Many followed our daughter, Lindsey and son in love, Kevin Dennis, through a journey we never imagined we would travel. It was and continues to be the story of our sweet granddaughter Sophia Kyla Dennis, born September 1, 2013 and the 10 precious hours given to us before she went to be with Jesus that same day. We remember and celebrate her amazing and short life, touching thousands as Lindsey shared the story of their pregnancy, our Sophie diagnosed with the condition known as anencephaly. Lindsey's blog Vapor and Mist, www.vaporandmist.wordpress.com, chronicled these weeks and the wonderful community that came alongside with such love, prayer and support.
Our whole family experienced the grace and love of God as He carried us through these difficult months. I think all of us would say we are forever changed in some way.
Our family picture taken at Christmas 2013 reflects the love and sweetness in our hearts, though it was hard not having Sophie with us. The little butterfly in the corner of that picture is a reminder she will always be remembered in our family. So it was with such hope we entered into 2014.
I copied down some thoughts from Ann Voskamp's blog A Holy Experience, on January 11.
"In a new year, the only hope of a new me, is only Christ in me. The most important skill to have in 2014 is to live aware that Jesus is the only life I have. Nothing will happen this year apart from Him. Nothing will be remade, nothing will be satisfying apart from Him. Jesus is the only life I have. The most important skill to have in 2014 is paying attention to Jesus.
Just be with Jesus.
Listen to Jesus.
Wait for Jesus.
Be loved by Jesus.
Wonder over Jesus.
Live through Jesus.
When who Jesus is overwhelms you - nothing that happens can overcome you....
Try picking through the minefield of life without clinging to Him - who knows what 2014 could explode." ( taken from blog www.aholyexperience.com Jan. 11, 2014)
And so, on March 15 we received the wonderful news that Kevin and Lindsey were pregnant again and our excitement and hope revived. We were touched with anxious anticipation and praying that this new life was growing healthy and strong. And then our lives exploded on May 8th with the news that this little baby had a life threatening condition called acrania, similar, but not the same, as our Sophie. And all of us were stunned. How could this happen again? Why Lord? How will we navigate this journey a second time? And He said to me...I am still with you.
I still sometimes feel I cannot breathe. And when my thoughts take this mother to places of anger, fear, worry, and many questions, there is a place I know I can go..it is the place where I went before, because I believe the Lord truly has trained me in "the most important skill." I go just to be with Jesus in His powerful, comforting, soul strengthening, living and true Word. I listen to Him speak to me. My friend Lin, opened up Psalm 23 with me, when I came to her house after hearing of our babies diagnosis while at work. The Lord is my Shepherd and He will lead and guide my Lindsey and Kevin and our family.
I still have moments where I feel I can't breathe. I was reminded of a wonderful praise hymn, Breathe, by Michael W. Smith. I will by faith breathe in God's powerful truths and I will intentionally drive my heart toward the Lord in those times of fear and doubt. He is the air I breathe.
We will continue to honor this new life God has created for as long as the Lord gives and we will continue to trust in the same God who carried us before. We will pray for the Lord's healing hand to touch our baby Dennis and we will trust in His all wise plans as they unfold. I have much to learn and so much of my heart to share this time.
"Breathe" by Michael W. Smith
